Saying “No” and Caring for Yourself…

Blog Post for March:

Saying no is a hard thing. To be honest, it’s hard most of the time. I try to be there for people in my life as much as possible, I love helping others; it’s my “love language.” It also means I risk burning out, I risk over extending myself, and it becomes harmful to me.

I’ve been called strong, resilient, asked numerous times “how do you do it all?” I can tell you the answer is, imperfectly…some people get angry, feel rejected, feel abandoned, neglected. I honor their needs and feelings but I also am not responsible for managing their emotional reactions to my boundaries and limits. I am responsible to care for my own nervous system and others must learn how to do the same.

I am a caregiver, a mother, a partner, a recovering alcoholic and addict, a trauma and abuse survivor, and struggle with mental illness. I am in recovery, I have multiple professional therapists and professionals that help me find as much balance in my life as possible. I have been strong because life has rarely given me a choice to be anything less. I have used drugs and alcohol to manage my stress and chaos of my past, they were unhealthy and toxic and nearly cost me my life.

I sought out unhealthy relationships because I didn’t have a healthy one with myself. I had to reach a point that gave me a choice to end my life or pick up the mess I made of it and do the work to climb out of my self created “shit hole” or grave as it could have easily become.

I have done and keep doing the work because I have an amazing life now, healed relationships with myself, my children, and a healthy and loved filled marriage. I seek to help others recover from a life of chaos like I have done and in in Graduate school to become a clinical mental health counselor so it’s even more important to set boundaries, care for myself and be a healthy role model. Sometimes that looks like saying no, declining events, sleeping instead of reading or going out. It also looks like putting my family first and working hard the day before or after to make that happen.

After loosing my parents, and countless others to overdoses, cancer, etc., I am reminded of what truly matters in life, all the things we can’t take with us, all of the experiences, and people we love that can’t be replicated or replaced, yet live with us internally forever…that is what matters to me.

Much Love and In Service,

Kimberly Sprintz