Finding compassion for yourself can be challenging but one small step everyday is the way to make lasting change. We have this one life that goes by so fast, don’t waste it by being hard on yourself. If you mess up own it, if you messed up in the past own it and stop trying to make it right by consistently punishing yourself…it’s doesn’t work! Apply the knowledge you have now and don’t make the same mistake - we know better and we do better. We aren’t perfect, we will mess up, BUT we don’t have to keep making the same mistake over and over trying to correct something that will never be corrected. We make amends by doing the best we can to avoid repeating the action. No one is perfect and knowing that should make room for the times when the outcomes don’t meet your expectation. Progress not perfection is not only a slogan in recovery, it’s a fact of life.
Consider asking yourself the following:
Are you progressing (growing) or stuck?
Ask yourself…why?
What am I getting from staying in this headspace or doing this action or behavior?
Why am I punishing myself?
What is the result I am attention to create by selfharming behavior?
Who’s attention am I seeking?
Is there another way for me to work towards actually getting resolution that will look differently than I want it to but find resolution anyway?
Stay curious and open to trying new ways of living life and seeing others and yourself. Don’t go the rose colored glasses route, because gaslighting yourself is also inauthentic and unhelpful. Just observe the situation without blame or labeling - just as it is and then work on looking at it from multiple perspectives. You might be surprised at how many great ideas you come up with.
The lie we tell ourselves is we somehow don’t have the ability to help ourselves because we must have others do the work or make the decisions for us. The truth is we have the capacity to lead our lives in the way that aligns with our needs and desires…we need tools and guidance at times but only to light the way toward ourselves not away from ourselves. Empowerment is motivated externally through experiences where we find agency and a sense of pride. You can do this, you can succeed. You can live a life on your terms and you will face critics (pushback) but ultimately at the end of your life YOU will be who is responsible for the choices you made. Take care of yourself on the journey home to yourself…find the people and community that supports your growth and authenticity and let go of those who hold you back. - Kimberly Sprintz
Comentarios